Hot mommy

No Mind Games

You know all those games you can play with single girls, like not calling them for 4 – 5 days, or staying out drinking with your buddies for an entire weekend, or dating other girls on the side?

You can forget all of those if you plan on dating a single mom. You see, she has a limited amount of time with you to decide if you’re worthy of being part of her life.

So, if you do anything to screw up her opinion of you within the first few weeks of your relationship, she will end it in a heartbeat. This might make her seem cold, or narcissistic, but she’s just saving herself the time and effort of being in a relationship that’s going nowhere.

She has probably already heard every excuse you can think of from a man, so don’t waste your time trying to play games with her. Well, not unless you enjoy being kicked to the curb by every single mom you date.

Mail Order Brides With Kids

If you fall in love with a woman from another country the fact that she has kids shouldn’t have any impact on your feelings for her.

What you do need to be realistic about is that you will face all the challenges of a long-distance relationship, plus the additional challenge of becoming a stepfather to children who may not even speak the same language as you.

The dynamics of a long-distance relationship with a foreign woman are different from your typical local relationship. Technology, however, allows you to stay in touch with both your overseas girlfriend and her children.

Obviously, if there is a language barrier this is something you will need to overcome, but you only need to grasp the basics of any language to make your feelings felt.

Mail order brides with children are not uncommon, but if you do wind up in a long-distance relationship with a single mother you should expect your family to ask questions. There’ll be a concern on their part that you’re being duped into being nothing more than a ‘Green Card’ supplier for an entire foreign family.

That’s why it’s important to involve your family from the early stages of the relationship and allow them to communicate with both your girlfriend and her family.

Help Out Where You Can

Unless she’s a real gold-digger she won’t need some night on a white charger to ride in and rescue her. Basically, she doesn’t need you to save her. She’s managed to raise her kids on her own long before you arrived on the scene, so don’t go making the mistake of thinking you’re doing her a favor by being in her life.

Now with that being said, she will appreciate if you offer to help out with chores around the house. You don’t need to re-shingle her roof to earn some brownie points, but doing simple things like taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, changing the oil in a car, and all those other time-consuming tasks she just can’t get around to.

Single moms never seem to have enough hours in each day, so whatever you can do to help her create a little personal bubble of time for herself will be appreciated in a way you can only ever understand if you’ve raised a family on your own.

Dating After Divorce: Getting Back In The Game

Nobody gets married ever thinking it will result in divorce. It’s the last thing you ever expect to happen, but once the process is set in motion there is very little you can do to stop it.

The main issue for newly single parents is that you have invested your entire life in your partner and your family, with little or no thought for yourself. So, this leaves you stumbling around the dating scene like a newborn deer, with no idea how modern dating actually works.

Online dating has made getting back into the dating game a whole lot easier, but it’s not without its flaws. When you emerge from married life into the world of Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and all the other online dating portals and apps, you’ll feel overwhelmed and completely out of your comfort zone.

You’ll realize you have absolutely no idea how to date after your divorce. But all hope is not lost!

The key to being successful in the post-divorce dating game is to be happy with yourself because if you’re not happy with yourself you’re going to give off the kinds of negative vibes that will keep potential partners away in droves.

Now, the idea of being happy in yourself doesn’t mean you need to have the perfect body, the perfect job, or a pile of cash in your bank account.

But what it does mean is that you need to be comfortable in your own skin, and to not be desperate to settle down with somebody, anybody, no matter what.

You see the very last thing you want to bring to your next relationship is the baggage from your marriage, but this is exactly what most divorcees do.

Your next partner will most likely not want to deal with the baggage, so your relationship will be cut short. The only real way to get rid of that emotional baggage from your last relationship is to speak to a good counselor or psychotherapist.

Remember all of this when you meet a mail order bride with kids.  In most of these countries, divorce is really frowned on and it was probably the last resort for a woman trying to escape an abusive situation.

In fact, it is not uncommon to meet young widows, because Russian men tend to drink themselves to an early grave.  Eastern European women have a lot of good reasons for becoming mail order brides.

You probably hate that idea – none of us want to drag up the things from our past that have hurt us, but if you want to have healthy relationships you need to deal with your past first.

Single Moms Around the World

Let me comment briefly on a couple of select subsets of sexy single moms that you really ought to consider.

Hot Russian Moms

For whatever reason, I see a large number of single, hot Russian moms. I guess you could do some research and come up with the reasons, whether wars, unemployment, or whatever.

Doesn’t matter. The point is the dating sites I follow show a lot of single moms. And if you haven’t checked out Russian women generally, and these hot single moms specifically, get on it. It’s a great place to find super quality women.

OK, different continent, different culture, for our next subset.

Hot Latina Moms

I say “Latina”, you think hot. I know you do.

Songs glorify them, love stories praise them; and for any of you who have had the good fortune to visit the Medellin’s, the Rio’s, the Buenos Aires’s of the world, I need say no more.

Another fact about Latin cultures? They love kids; they’re family-oriented. Single moms don’t need to hang their heads in Latin cultures.

A Whole New Level of Intimacy

A lot of men make the mistake of chasing after women in their 20s because they think the sex will be mind-blowing. They assume that younger women are basically porn stars in training.

The truth is most women in their 20s are still figuring out their own sexuality, so while they might be a lot younger, they’re more concerned about their looks than how good they are between the sheets.

A single mom, on the other hand, would normally be in her early 30s and have far more sexual experience than you can imagine.

In addition to this there’s also the fact that while men reach their sexual peak by the time they’re 21, a woman doesn’t reach her sexual prime until she’s in her 30s.

Ask any man who has dated a thirty-something single mom. You’ll need plenty of fluids, and maybe some snacks.

It’s not that you wind up with some kind of deprived nymphomaniac, but what you will have is a woman who is just as passionate about life and intimacy as you are, and in a way that will surprise you.

Just don’t forget that she will have some emotional baggage from her previous relationship, especially about how she looks naked.

She probably has stretch marks, and her boobs probably aren’t quite what they used to be – she’s completely okay with how she looks because she has grown one or more human beings inside her.

So, don’t get bent out of shape if she wants to have sex with the lights off, or while keeping her bra on – she’s not trying to be weird, but she is lacking in some self-confidence and usually as a result of comments made about her body by her previous boyfriend.

Don’t rush things in the bedroom – you have plenty of time to figure each other out, and what you like and dislike.

Single mothers are, in our experience, very interested in having a regular and healthy sex life, which is the exact opposite to what most guys think.

Look at it this way – how frustrated would you be if you’d spent the last few decades of your life raising children, but never had time to experiment sexually?

Her most recent idea of a hot date was a warm bath, a glass of wine, and 15 minutes with her favorite vibrator.

Her Ex & You

Your girlfriend has kids which means she’s given birth to a child, which usually means there is a biological father somewhere in the picture.

Not every single mother has had a terrible breakup with the father of her children – sometimes things just don’t work out. It’s nobody’s fault, so people try to move on with their lives.

Even in cases where the breakup with her ex was pretty bad you still need to expect him to be a part of her children’s lives, even if that’s for just a few hours each week.

In her eyes how you handle this type of situation will tell her a lot about your future together. If you’re the kind of guy who is extremely jealous, insecure or has anger management issues, then these personality traits are going to come to the surface when you deal with your girlfriend’s ex.

These types of situations are a great opportunity for any male of the species to clearly demonstrate how much of a man he is.

And to do that by being an adult and understanding that your girlfriend’s ex will be a part of her life, whether she likes it or not, for at least the next decade or so.

You don’t have to be best buddies with her ex, but you do need to have a relationship with him that works for you, your girlfriend, and most importantly her children.

Dating a Single Mom

If you ask most guys how they’d feel about a date with a single mom, you’ll probably see a confused look on their face- this is a non-verbal “Uhhh, I don’t think so”.

After all, who wants to be some kid’s baby daddy now that their own daddy has gone? Or at least that’s what a lot of guys tend to think.

There’s been a stigma attached to dating a woman with kids on the dating scene for a long time now, and all without good cause. Sure, there are some single mothers out there looking for a baby daddy, and a sugar daddy at the same time.

Fortunately, these kinds of women are in the minority, whereas most single moms are just looking for a good guy to share their life with.

There are pros and cons to dating single moms and if you meet a woman with children on an international dating site both pros and cons are magnified.

That means depending on how you and the lady handle it meeting a single mom on A Foreign Affair, Elena’s Models, or another of the sites we review here on International Love Scout can either be the most beautiful thing to ever happen to you or an emotional and financial train wreck with potential national security implications.

Even your dumbest college roommate knows that single moms are SERIOUS.  Sexy single moms will put up with more of your little ideocracies because they know a lot of men will not date a woman with kids, but they will also demand more because are always thinking about how your behavior is going to impact their child.

With international brides, this is doubly true. They know marrying a man from overseas can revolutionize their life and the life of their child. 

At the same time the cultural issues are more serious, because not only do you have to work out the cultural and social issues with your new lady you have to let the child understand who you are and what you are doing.

Moms: They Already Have Kids

If you’re dating a woman over the age of thirty, there’s a very good chance she already has one or two kids of her own. Now, some guys won’t even consider dating a single mom because they can’t see how it would be fun. After all, wouldn’t you suddenly have to play daddy, when all you want to do is spend some time playing with their mommy?

Nothing could be further from the truth -what you’re forgetting is that single moms are adults too, and she’s just as eager to spend intimate time with you, as you are with her.

Obviously if there are kids around then you need to be more discreet and plan things out a little more in advance, but to be honest, that’s all part of the fun anyway.

It’s also worth remembering that very few single moms are gold-diggers – even though they do exist, and you do need to watch out for them.

Most single mothers just want to meet somebody they can date and have fun with, in the hope of it leading to something more permanent. That’s exactly what you’re looking for, so don’t judge her in advance without having any of the facts.

Any single mother with more than two brain cells to rattle together will actually limit your exposure to her life and to her family until she’s certain she can trust you.

So, one of the first warning signs with a single mom you’re dating is that she wants to make you part of her family life straight away – this rarely doesn’t end well.

Another perk of the fact that single moms will have kids is that you get a ready-made family, which is ideal for guys who might have struggled with previous girlfriends and trying to start a family with them.

If you’re worried about your new girlfriend not wanting to have any additional kids, then that’s something you need to discuss, gently, during your first few dates.

Again, once she trusts you then you can start having “Let’s make a baby” conversations with her, but not before.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Monday Cleaning Day

Usual activities such as your cleaning day are easy to put on the back burner for a few days because motivation to “clean” is simply not there. Cleaning is down on most people’s “Not Fun!” list, including myself. Motivating yourself to tackle house cleaning with broom in one hand and dustpan in the other is one thing but getting everyone else to pitch in and help is another! For about two weeks now, I have witnessed a very strange yet miraculous occurrence: my toddler actually wants to help me clean house. At first, I was a little slow to catch on to what was happening because I’m so used to nagging everyone to help me out. So, as I said before- for two weeks, during my usual Monday cleaning day my toddler had fought me tooth and nail as we tug – o – war for the broom, mop, or whatever other cleaning appliance I had in my hand. My little Ryu would follow me around the house watching me clean and fight me for cleaning appliances! It finally dawned on me that maybe Ryu should have some cleaning appliances of his own.

So on the following Monday cleaning day I took Ryu down to Toys R Us and got him this nifty little cleaning trolley set which included: a mobile vacuum cleaner, exchangeable nozzles for the vacuum, a broom, a dustpan, a mop, a spray gun, and a place for trash. After buying this toy for him, I thought to myself that whoever invented this toy was simply genius!! This toy was perfect because as I swept the floors so would Ryu and when I would vacuum so would he. Not only is this toy a much safer version of cleaning house but I think that it is a great way to teach my little Ryu to get in the routine of taking care of his things. It is such an awesome feeling to see how proud he is because he has some responsibility and a sense of “I did it Mommy!”

And so, this is why my usual Monday cleaning day has changed from waking up in the morning and being bummed that I have to clean house to a feeling of -Yeah I have a little helper – my partner in cleaning crime!!

Dating With Children: You Have To Put Your Kids First

Why do foreign women want to marry Western men?   There are a lot of reasons, but they are double for single moms.  Recognize this, but don’t take unfair advantage.

Even if you find yourself struggling with the loneliness of being newly single, or how desperate you might feel to find new love, you still have your kids to think about. They should be your primary concern when it comes to choosing a person who might be sharing your life with you.

This is important for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the safety of your kids – you’ve all seen those horror stories online about what can happen when the “wrong people” are introduced to innocent children.

You can tell a lot about the person you’re dating when you see the reaction to the fact you have children, and how they speak about them during the early stages of your new relationship.

A mutually sensible approach to putting your kids first in this new relationship is to limit their exposure to your new partner, although they should suggest this too.

The very last thing you want is to add further instability to your children’s lives by having a variety of boyfriends or girlfriends dropping in and out of their lives every few months.

This is completely unfair on them and can cause a huge amount of hidden psychological and emotional damage, that will then affect their relationships in years to come.

If your new partner also has kids then you won’t need to explain that family comes first. If, however, you’re dating somebody who has never had kids, then there’s a bit of a learning curve for them in that you can’t just spontaneously take the weekend off.

Monday, December 13, 2010

5 Healthy Gift Ideas to Spread Holiday Cheer!!

Ok, so Christmas is right around the coner and if you are tired of giving the same old sausauge gift box to your relatives or friends year after year then you might find the following healthy gift ideas helpful for creating a new spin on holiday gift giving:

  1. Give the gift of a healthy recipe with ingredients included (see Healthy Mommytivities)
  2. Give the gift of a List of Trails to hike in the area along with a state park pass
  3. Give a pair of cool running/walking shoes along with an Itunes Gift card to get your gift receiver bumpin’ their way to their 2011 New Years Resolution
  4. Give the gift of Outdoor family play ( Example: A basketball hoop and basketball)
  5. Give the gift of a mini spa- basket of exotic teas, mud mask, invigorating lotions, and a book on meditation

Her Security Comes First

Let’s just assume that you’ve made it through your first few dates with your new single mom girlfriend.

Awesome!

Somewhere in the back of your head, you might be thinking about the idea of moving in with her, or her and her kids moving in with you. Any single mom is going to be extremely reluctant to give up, or put at risk, the security of having her own home.

She’s already had the experience of a relationship falling apart, so don’t expect her to be okay with the idea of sharing a home any time soon.

Remember her priority is the safety of children, and not your personal feelings or principles in relation to sharing a home with each other.

All good things come to those who wait, as they say, so please be prepared to be a little bit more patient than usual with your new girlfriend, but if you truly care about her we shouldn’t even need to mention that.

She’s From The Past

While you might have several hours of leisure time each day, a single mom doesn’t. If she has young kids she probably averages four hours of sleep each night, which gives her absolutely no time to keep up with current events, or what the latest movies are.

This might make you feel like you’re dating somebody from the pages of history, but the last thing you should do is make fun of her because of it.

Introduce her to the wonders of Netflix, Amazon Video and Hulu. Share your Spotify playlists with her to get her up to speed with what’s happening in the world of music.

Even better, find out what types of movies she enjoys watching, and then put together a list of all the best movies in that genre released over the last few years. This shows you care, it shows you listen to her, and it gives you an excuse to spend some quality time with her doing something she loves.

Nobody ever said dating single moms was easy, but it’s more than worth the effort you put in.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

2011 Will be Your Best Year Yet!

Another year and another New Year’s Resolution! Towards the end of 2010, I found myself alongside the other New Year’s Resolution sheep asking what I had accomplished and was I happy with what was accomplished. Yes I had accomplished many of the goals I had set out to reach at the beginning of 2010 such as shedding my baby weight, getting my son on a routine, getting myself on a routine….among others; but what was in store for me for 2011?In order to find an answer to that question, I found myself asking more questions. One of the biggest questions was, why make a New Year’s Resolution to begin with.

Well, imagine yourself wandering through life without any real objective or thought about being a constructive being. To me, that’s a pretty sad existence! So I found the answer to that «big» question. I make my New Year’s Resolution each year not because everyone else does it but because it helps me get on track mentally for my long term goals such as how do I want to live the rest of the life I’m blessed with, how do I want my relationship to be like with my husband, what do I want for my son…

I guess what I’ve found to help me achieve my goals during each and every year is to make large goals and work back and make smaller goals. In other words, imagine a long rope bridge where you have to walk each and every step to get to the other side of the rope bridge. If you make smaller goals and reach those smaller goals then it’s much more likely that you achieve your original long term goal because it won’t seem as overwhelming.

Here is a step by step guide on how I achieve my goals:

1. Have a paper and pen handy

2. Write down a list of all of your long term goals (make sure they are realistic!)

3. Focus on one long term goal that you would like to achieve.

4. Think about this long term goal and envision a rope ladder with all the small steps needed to cross this rope ladder. Write down everything that comes to mind in order to reach this long term goal.

4. Create realistic deadlines, or how long it will take to reach the short term goal, for each of these short term goals so that you will be held accountable for reaching the long term goal.

Vwala, you are on your way to making 2011 your best year yet! Taking these steps even further, you can re-evaluate your long term goal every month and track where you’re at. Make sure you reward yourself for short term goals that were achieved. Happy New Years to all and happy goal setting!

«A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.» -Harvey Mackay

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Spooky Healthy Halloween Treat

At preschool yesterday we decorated Halloween cupcakes and I thought to myself that every holiday people just pack down tons of sugar! So, I wanted to blog today about a recipe for a healthy version of Halloween treats that kids will love and parents will love too. This Halloween treat is a fast, simple, cheap, and tasty treat!
The following recipe calls for the following:
1. Your favorite Halloween cookie cutters
2. Any three melons you choose
3. Blueberries
4. Your choice flavored yogurt as a dip

To begin, use a potato peeler to skin the melons. Next cut the melons into round slices so you can cut into them with the cookie cutters. Unlike the melons though, the pineapple needs to have its skin cut and its top chopped off. Just like the melons, cut the pineapple into round slices. After each of the melons and the pineapple is cut into round slices you can begin to cut out the Halloween shapes. Save the extra fruit for later. After all of the Halloween shapes have been cut out put them on a seperate place and place them into the freezer for about 20 minutes. All most done… Take the excess fruit and chop them into bite sized pieces. Place all of these bite sized pieces into your serving bowl. Place your flavored yogurt into a seperate small sizezd serving bowl. Take out your frozen Halloween shaped fruit and place them on top of the bite sized fruit pieces. Last top it with as many blueberries as you choose. Enjoy!

Here’s My Hot Mommy!

My name is Adriana Posadas and I am an Orange county mommy whose blogging is, of course, inspired by my beautiful son Ryu who is 20 months now. I have always been into fitness; in fact, my husband and I are so passionate about health that we decided to open up a gym in the OC and help families here lead healthier lifestyles! My family and I enjoy everything from martial arts to weight lifting, running, swimming, rock climbing…. I was even a contestant on NBC’s, American Gladiators!

After the birth of my son, I experienced something I had NEVER experienced in my life. I was overweight and I had to face the facts and make a healthy change. I figured if I was going to get back in shape my little guy would be the inspiration I needed to do it! Every day my son and I spend quality time together doing some kind of exercise and we have a great time doing it! Because of this, I get so many shocked mommies at the park asking me how old my son is and that they can’t believe the coordination and strength he has. The idea light didn’t go on though until my son Ryu and I joined a mommy and me preschool class and there were other toddlers his age there. I saw other 20 month olds struggle to do what he did in a breeze- Ryu was jumping, climbing, running, throwing balls into the basket, and even doing a wheel barrel maneuver! This is why I decided to begin my blog. I wanted to share my story and my passions with other mommies and discover and share with them ways to make being healthy fun. If my mommies get
“H-O-T” in the process, then so be it!

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